Larushka

Sparkler Painting

2009-07-05T00:42:00.010-05:00

For a self-portrait, set your shutter on the low low and go to town. Then flip the image horizontally. If someone is taking the picture for you, set the shutter to Bulb. The shutter will stay open for as long as they hold down the button, allowing you to write a really long message. In either case, amp up the aperature to 22 or higher.

Try different lights: laser pointers in different colors, flashlights. I experimented with a square shaped light that produced thick white strokes like graffiti.
Don't let those sparklers go to waste. Try writing a love note or drawing a picture (especially contours) with light!

♥

The First Day.

2009-06-12T01:01:00.013-05:00

Agent Pineapple and I were the only students to show for the first art class; it was just usthe two of us, JT (teach), and the model.

The rope thing did make sense once he demonstrated it and it's actually quite brilliant, functioning as a sling for your drawing board. It's a cheap way to let you draw anywhere comfortably and hands-free without a costly and bulky easel. The rope is fed through the clips that hold your paper and than over your shoulder around to the other side of the board.

He provided us with torn and crumpled pieces of paper which caused an interesting texture on our first drawings. I love that teach encourages us to repurpose and recycle: instead of spending money on costly drawing paper, we are encouraged to bring recycled paper bags and kraft paper.

We began by shading the pieces with charcoal and blending it with both a piece of paper towel and a piece of kraft paper torn from the corner to learn how each blends. The model was illuminated with high-key lighting to emphasize the lights and darks of her face. Then we erased the light areas of her face with a kneaded eraser to create a general guide for her features.

Charcoal pencils served as our measuring tools. This part was tricky and awkward; with so few people it was weird to hold up the pencil and squint. It was quite awkward in general actually. Whenever we would look at the model she would look at us and flash a nervous smile, so I didn't look too often.

We learned that less is more when drawing a portrait, that it's better to have fewer lines and to not concentrate on details. This was the most difficult part for me, being a perfectionist. I erased a lot and had to rush at the end to create a "finished piece" (to Rage Against the Machine). I expected to begin with 30 second timed drawings or to simply concentrate on light and dark values but he threw us into it in order to gauge where we are. In that respect, Agent P. and I were glad that it was just the two of us.

Another great tip learned: to yoga breathe as you draw. Breathing from your belly puts less stress on your shoulders and arms, drawing endurance!

JT was very supportive and was surprised that neither of us had taken a drawing class before (my internal sensor scoffed at this!). He encouraged us to sign our work and was excited to provide the hold on to our first portrait. As scary as it was, we both enjoyed the class and are looking forward to next week. In the meantime we will be working on noses, drawing each other's and ones from magazines. And I will be mindful of not aging the model by twenty years, I have a thing for skeletal faces.

I think it looks better inverted, it really picks up the texture.Thanks for reading!

Potato Play.

2009-06-11T16:36:00.007-05:00

A couple of weeks ago my mother, Mama Marshamallow, raced over and knocked on my door practically out of breath to tell me about potatoes. She was about to fry up some potatoes when she discovered that they had quirky characteristics. I love that she looks at vegetables differently now that I've been taking pictures of them. Well today she wanted to make potatoes again and eat one of these little characters, so I had to take pictures.

Abstract potato love:

Doodles the duck.
Wally the walrus.
Look at that face!

And last of all a butt. Potatoes have cellulite too!

Have you eaten your vegetables today? We ate the butt potato.

♥

Happy Birthday Agent Pineapple!

2009-06-10T17:44:00.004-05:00

She turned the big two-one today! We're going to dance to some live music and eat taco dip. My 2-layer heart shaped red velvet cake is on the cooling rack, begging to be slathered with fudge frosting and sprinkles.The cake in the picture is from one of her creepy old regulars that's in love with her. He lit it in the store and shelled out big bucks for a fancy perfume set. Creepy! But it's my perfume too so I'm not complaining because it smells delicious. Happy Birthday baby! xoxo♥

More Graffiti Inspiration

2009-06-10T13:28:00.014-05:00

It's here! It's here! A HOPEful graffiti clutch by Alisa Burke! If anything could serve as inspiration This. Is. It.

Photoshoot on a beautiful blue vintage Volkswagon Beetle.
A little man with curly back hair and a bald spot on the crown of his head in corporate attire drove it into the parking lot at Agent Pineaple's work and then left for a prolonged period of time. He didn't patronize any of the businesses and disappeared down the alley, perhaps he is a traveling salesman.
I worked up my courage, looked for him walking down the drive, and then went to town taking pictures of the clutch all over his car wherever it would stay propped up. My adventure for the day, silly fun!**This just in: I posted one of the pictures while leaving feedback on etsy and Alisa loved it! She even posted them on her blog :)
Further inspiration: I have been eyeing this Montana spray paint at Blick for a long time. It comes in the most beautiful colors...bright, painty, messy, lusty. My list of personal imagery and visual fetishes is growing: stencil fodder.Art class starts tonight. We're supposed to bring ten feet of rope. When I inquired about the rope, JT told me that we were going to tie it around our necks and then to our drawing board in lieu of an easel. He also said that it would make sense when we did it. Hmmm.
Since I rarely have occasion to carry a purse and this beauty needs to see the light of day on the regular, it shall transport my charcoal set to class. Whoo hoo.
xo Lara

Taking Back the Night

2009-06-02T20:04:00.023-05:00

We rang in June 1st with a northerly drive. Unfortunately we were sucked into a vortex of industrial parks which is all too easy to fall victim to living in the burbs. We chalked it up to a faulty quarter toss and went in search for a caffeine injection, it didn't take long though since Agent Pineapple works in a coffee shop: I can pick 'em! Coffees in hand we stepped out the door to discover that the wind had shifted and the sky had turned pink, an eerie pink. It was clear that the only way June 1st could be salvaged was to race home and grab the cameras for some night shots. Ms. Agent helped me set up the tripod and I went to town taking shots of this stone factory that I can't get anywhere near in the day. The passersby were very intrigued, perhaps they thought we were terrorists.

Surburbia is better in the dark, it gains a slight veneer of intrigue. My mother and I used to go for late-night drives down the side streets and count the number of houses that actually had their lights on. The results were very disappointing :) I encourage everyone to take pictures at night. Live dangerously. Take a walk on the wild side and all that jazz! Night is when the ideas fly in for a visit.

I am slowly digesting Taking Flight. I love this book, it's like a personal cheerleader that congratulates you every time you crack the spine! I'm on chapter 2, which prompts you to identify your fears. "If I wasn't afraid, I would": take art classes, lots of them! I have been terrified of taking art classes since it was drawing at the local park district in elementary school. Sometimes I wonder what happened to that girl, the one who danced on stage, talked in class with eyes on fire, and went to art camp. She has been neglected for some time but is jumping up and down for June 10th, the first day of my first grown up art class! First stop portraiture, next stop Stencilry in August! I'm so excited that I'm "stenciling" on the computer as you can see above. Sometimes I feel like I'm growing up, but not in a bad way. I cannot express how cathartic simply identifying that thing that slowly gnaws at the ankles of your being is.

xo Lara

Saturday Artist Date

2009-05-30T22:56:00.029-05:00

Open flowers, open doors.
Welcoming us to our favorite cafe. The one owned by our favorite saucy Italian lady that we've set foot in only once before in search of authentic gelato.
It is such a dream inside. Cerulean, turquoise, rust, burnt sienna, bronze, and sunflower yellow adorning the textured walls and authentic tin ceiling. Adorned by delicate swag lamps and crepey curtains this cafe is truly a romantic's haven.
Ahhhhh my house will look like this.

Looking at the pictures again is both calming and invigorating, like remembering time spent in a far off place. We are thankful for a warm place that tickles and arouses our creativity, amps up that drive to make.

Discovering the bathroom was also a treat. The door looks is a magical portal, sky rimmed in gold. Another self-portrait in the bathroom: Rosie the Riveter came out to play coaxed by the promise of a starry night.

Agent Pineapple and I made lists, plotting future projects. I'm going to make the perfect journal that can both withstand mixed media artwork and transport detritus as well as cute little albums for our photo booth strips. The list became increasingly general from there: print-making, assemblage, collaborative projects. I have been waiting for a project to find me. Something to explore through multiple mediums and formats. Something to be consumed by. My eyes are peeled, I'm on a stakeout, and Saturday artists dates will become a weekly affair!
And maybe if we become regulars at the cafe, Saucy Italian Lady will let me take some real pictures with tripod and all, with models, and ponies!xo Lara

Incubation and Face Play.

2009-05-25T18:36:00.026-05:00

I love faces. I love painting them. I love drawing them. I love collaging them.
I need to get out more so that I can take pictures of them.
Talk to strangers, take their candy, and then their picture.Make new friends and make art with them.Walk on the cracks in the sidewalk.Before taking picturesand making rubbings
and stuffing artinside.Insidefinding the timeto reach withinscoop out the pulp and synthesize by feelthat which cannot be seen.Crouching in the dark with lightbulb sunsand incubating my dreams. Birthing saturatedworks of self to set free: prayers. New forms, new mediums,new ways to set things free. Finding it hard to find my groove,to scoop out. But, an art class is forthcoming with a new face each week to draw.And it's free and very chill: paper bags are encouraged as an art surface and our friend who teaches it uses the scientific principles of DaVinci to make sense of the line and the eye-hand connection. I need to buy shellac today, you'll see what I mean. And last night I found my googly eyes. Whoo hoo.

Thank you Robin for posting about these digital canvas boxes. I can't get enough of them!

Lily/Booger/Coo Coo Cachoo The Baby Raccoon

2009-05-17T20:45:00.037-05:00

Agent Pineapple and I have become an animal rescue team in the past few months. First a feline escapee from the animal hospital and last week: this little hunk of burning love. Little booger was standing in the middle of the opposing lane of traffic, bobbing her little head, not moving an inch. The next street to pull over on was a few blocks away. We sprinted through the grass on the side of the road dodging protruding pieces of rusted metal and hubcaps. When we got to her she was curled up in a ball and despite all of the cars that had passed, very much alive! Agent P. scooped her up and checked her for injuries before . She affixed herself with her barely-there claws to my bosom and stayed their for hours. She loves boobies, they're great for naps.We took her home and managed to coax her into drinking water from a tiny baby bottle (only four weeks old we estimated) and kept her warm while we waited for the Wildlife Guardians Network to find a rehabilitator for her. Baby raccoons need to be rehabilitated with other raccoons their own age in order to be reintroduced into the wild.

(Click and smile wide)
Booger and I napped, snuggled, and watched the Ellen Show and Gray's Anatomy. She preferred the Ellen Show of course, me being her mama and all.She made the cutest squeaky noises when I scratched her a certain way.
Baby slept in a Converse shoes box lined with t-shirts and awoke with a sqeak the next morning when I turned on the light. We passed her on to a woman with a raspy smokers voice who specializes in rehabilitating small woodland creatures. With a rustic carved sign on her door that read "Welcome to the Nut House," a door concealing squawking birds and barking dogs, it seemed like the right place. She was very sweet and even encouraged us to call about Booger in the future. We smiled the whole way home.It wasn't until a few hours later that it hit me, lots of tears and lots of hugs. I miss little Booger but I'm so happy that she's going to be able to return to the trees in a few months and play with other raccoons. I love what my mother wrote: "Though we would have loved to keep her--in this case loving meant letting her go. She came to give us all 24 hours of love and a reminder of the beauty and fragility of the natural world. Bye baby!"

Animal Rescue Update: Last night we found a little injured bunny, Josephina, in the front yard. Her arm was injured by another animal who we must have scared off. I think that the plastic bunny that sits on our front steps functioned as one of those Helping Hand signs that people used to post in their front windows. The post-scoop consisted of water, grass, and love. At first we tried to release her a few blocks away so that the predator couldn't finish what it started but Josephina wasn't up for walking with her injury. She scooted around the cage though and hung in there overnight for her Mama Pineapple until we could take her to the Wildlife Center.

On the way back the universe high-fived us with free Starbucks (their computers were down).

And then their was magic. I went outside to take pictures of new collages but decided to go back inside in order to apply pants. A few minutes later I opened the door to find a plastic bag hanging on the knob filled with stuffed animal gifts, a precious blue bunny waiting to be scooped! I like to think it was a cosmic thank you from Josephina :)

At this rate, I wonder who will find us next week. We're official animal rescuers now!

♥ Lara and Agent Pineapple

Freedom!

2009-05-17T19:29:00.022-05:00

It's good to be back friends! The spring term has officially ended and I have a week before summer term begins. I'm taking two online courses which means I can stay nice and pasty in the privacy of my own digs. Despite all of the hair pulling, a lot of good things happened during my blog break. In no particular order:

Finished my research project in which I constructed Deborah Kampmeier's dramas as feminist horror films

Kait and I rescued a baby raccoon, our little Booger

Celebrated my 21st birthday with sushi and padthai and homemade taco dip, yum!

One of my onion photographs was published in my college's literary arts magazine

I was invited to contribute to a book in pictures and words

Won an award at my job for the second semester in a row

Saw the 1000 Journals film at the Talking Pictures Festival, check out the video and be inspired!

Witnessed a prairie burn
Watched the magnolia tree and lilac bush bloom

Whoo hooo! It's heART time and I can't wait to get dirty with those photostrips.xo Lara

Focusing.

2009-04-13T01:01:00.008-05:00

I'll be taking a break from blogging for about a month to concentrate on my studies, particularly the research project that I'm jazzed about (let's just say it involves Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and controversial film director Deborah Kampmeier). I hope to become so impeccable at managing my time that I will be able to satiate my need for blog consumption and perhaps produce a post once a week. Despite the trade-off of art for academics, focus feels goood.

Thank you for reading! See you soon.

xo Lara

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T09:48:00.007-05:00

Missing fluffy Easter dresses and hats with ribbons but looking forward to brunch and spending time with family. Steel Magnolias anyone?
Update: found a hat with a ribbon, just the ticket!
♥

The International Photo Booth Convention.

2009-04-10T21:24:00.003-05:00

"Since the invention of the photobooth, artists around the world have used photobooth photos in painting, collage, film, and video, taking advantage of the photobooth's uniquely expressive qualities."--from the Center Portion website

Enter through the yellow door for a day of photo strip art, film, talks, free photo booths, and a workshop.

Center Portion is a unique artist project space imbued with Celtic, folksy energy emanating from the home of a talented poet in Logan Square from which the space has been "carved." The theatre space was especially folksy with eclectic purple and blue seats watching the oldest photobooth at the convention on the stage. The younger booths were in the gallery space but "Betty's" had admirers from as far as England paying homage to her introspective gaze, these hardcore convention revelers were friendly and engaging. Laid out to dry, our strips were an invitation for conversation. One woman was fascinated with her feet that day and dragged a small table toward the booth to lean on so that Betty could capture them properly naked. She had quite a few pieces in the gallery show.

Works created during the "Altered Photography" workshop are on the left. The (kraftacular) convention poster hangs center. On the right are the beginnings of the exhibition of photo booth inspired art. From the literality of strips mounted in their original form to strips scanned, blown-up, remixed, and reprinted culminating in the transcendental: strips knitted punched and juxtaposed with found objects. I was especially drawn to the last permutation of photo-chemical strips and found objects; neither element has a negative, their union singularly normative yet abstract.

I love this piece by Andrea Vizzari, my photo does not do it justice. Andrea and Anthony Vizzari run 312photobooth, a company which provides photo booths for weddings and other events along with their case of costumes. They generously provided their (three!) photobooths and costumes for the convention furnishing all attendees with free strips!

Various wigs, specs, & hats in a vintage suitcase.
I foraged for the bunny ears, feather boa, feather mardi gras mask, tiger print cow boy hat, red bandana, giant scissors, and kitchy black specs but was a little disappointed at the lack of fairy wings.
I went into the color photobooth with my journal where I had pasted a copy of a photobooth picture of myself as a child holding my Puffalump soul mate and when I walked out there was a little girl staring at me who looked just like me in the picture and at five she could already work a room. She had her parents, Agent Pineapple, and I doing pirouettes and swaying like trees. I discovered that we had more in common as she gravitated towards traditionally masculine costumes like a clear mask with a painted mustache and a knight's helmet. I was a ninja three times for halloween and a knight once. The mustached little girl instructed her father to go in a booth solo with supersize hot pink sunglasses and a feather boa and of course he complied with a big grin because there was no saying "no" to this cutie. I hope she discovers the strips ten years from now and smiles.

Some people didn't realize that the curtain was see-through when they did cute kissy face pictures...ahem. Nothing wrong with a little tasteful relationship documentation, we saw 60 year olds doin it. Needless to say if I ever get married there will be a photo booth and an espresso bar with those barista-artists that make designs in the foam!

I think those are the feet of Carole from Photomovette (cute little feet in cute little shoes). The duo flew in from London and encountered a stuffed monkey during their travels who was featured in his very own photo strip. I pointed out that he had a belly button.

Rummaging through costumes and smuggling them into the booth, drawing the curtain, hastily assembling inside away from curious eyes, the count down, four chances, tearing off the disguise, waiting to snatch the print, joy.A sample of the results:

I can't wait to burn, scratch, and generally deface them some more. Transfer, glitter, paint, and cut. Journal journal journal fodder, oy!

xo Lara

My own agent of change.

2009-03-29T21:00:00.028-05:00

Winter launched it's penultimate attack on Chicagoland today, conquering our senses with a couple inches of snow. Outside, the finespun branches of our magnolia tree are smothered in it like clumsily applied mascara. On the ground the snow is melting into curious footprints as if frenzied giants charged across the backyard.

I retreated inward; noticing the colors, patterns, and textures of my space in miniature. Focusing on the pieces with a telephoto lens and appreciating our treasures. I love being first to rise in the morning--the precious few days a week when an alarm does not pierce my dreams. Peering through the windows while the coffee brews in a state of relaxation that could be interrupted at any moment; taking the moments and saturating them with simple pleasures. I grabbed the nearest notebook and wrote, rediscovering the sensuality of writing one's thoughts by hand, that intimate connection between hand, pen, page, and Self.

I've touched on my fear of words here and it was with this fear that I began writing. Why do I find it so difficult to write? Am I afraid to betray something in my words? Perpetually afraid of the fall. Afraid to betray that I am still that child who is terrified of everything and therefore has no right playing artist. What if the gradual cultivation of more literal jumps like climbing trees and riding roller coasters could transform one's proclivities in the figurative. The cultivation of Self is the modern enterprise after all. Signs telling us not to like ourselves and that if you don't like who you are just change it (or more often, that there is a product that you should purchase to be your agent of change): one's identity is fluid. Art is a means of slowing down, of acceptance and discovery. Ideally when we create we are guided by cues from within.

Life is too short to merely go with the flow, to be the sediment rolled along the bottom of the river of life ever so gradually causing the river bed to deepen. I want to be friction, energy as opposed to an inert object carried by forces greater. To swim against the current and deepen my experience or drown trying.

Be your own agent of change.

Writing, like art, is a way of finding one's equilibrium in the overwhelming nexus of ambiguity. Of making sense of the disparate thoughts which, unanchored and unexamined, weigh you down. In my literature classes it is not until I am asked to write a paper that the magic truly begins. My brain is on fire, connections are made, and everything comes together: the material and I undergo a catharsis together. At times I rely on visual modes of expression as a way to avoid thinking and as a consequence the investigation of what lies beneath and within is incomplete, a fraction of the whole. Often times when we are stuck on something, when we stop in the middle or fall short in some way it is because we are afraid of really examining, afraid of what we might find. Filling pages today brought about a peace, a knowledge that I would not have otherwise scratched at, a knowledge that is now more tangible. I am my own agent.

xo Lara

Climbing a tree, step 1.

2009-03-28T17:58:00.006-05:00

Go to a forest preserve.

Find a beginner's tree, or one with a thick trunk that splits into 3 or more

smaller trunks near the ground.

Hoist.

Lean on one of the trunks for support and climb a little higher.

Go down the way you came.

Jump!

Clavicle level is as high as my feet allowed me to go. Considering my fear of heights I consider it a feat!

Do you see that building in the background?

It's abandoned.

xo Lara

Bark.

2009-03-24T19:23:00.015-05:00

I did my favorite yoga DVD this morning. The first time I've practiced yoga in months. Not only was it humbling (it used to be my easy video) but the wave of serenity that washed over me as a result stuck with me all day. Soft rain and thunder. Taking pictures through the window. Blogging as Agent P. plays in her journal. Hot coffee and gooey cinnamon rolls. Watching a fun movie with my family. Having a smile on my face for no reason. I had forgotten how yoga used to prime my day. A rainy day stuck inside the house would have otherwise been draining.

I'm thinking about trees and playing in the forest. I'm anticipating climbing one for the first time, looking for human and animal faces in them, and capturing their fallen sheathing as they shed old bark to use in my journal.

I've also been thinking about my list.

15. Host a portrait party

16. Host a dinner party

17. Visit my brother in Detroit

   18. Surprise the people I care about
   19. Venture to Illinois' ghost towns
   20. Photograph that cute cafe owned by that saucy Italian lady
   21. Make a book of the favorite parts of my journal pages
   23. Keep an inspiration board
   24. Overcome the fear of my sewing machine (T-shirt surgery party?)
   25. Spray paint! and stencils!
   26. More mail art
   27. Paint the thunder horse¹ Amy's dad carved

Spring is like hopium and I like it! Breezes of cloying optimism that dissipate slowly, such that you don't even realize they were ever there.

¹ In tribal lore, the thunder horse stomps to create thunder and has a warrior spirit. Carved thunder horses are used in ritual dances.

Primary portraits.

2009-03-22T21:09:00.005-05:00

Primary colors (wrinkled vintage dress + ballet flats)

+ tripod

+ new Canon 30D

+ back yard

+ 8mm cine camera

Amazing how even self-portraits in one's own back yard can be intimidating. After figuring out the tripod and waiting for a curious neighbor to go back in his house it was exhilarating. Dressing up, red lipstick, primary colors, new cameras, and jumping in the air! Finding my happy. Now if I can just figure out how to use this 8mm camera....

xo Lara

Sunflower discovery

2009-03-22T12:29:00.020-05:00

We love our old Buick.

Driving in the sun with the windows down.

Bouncing to cassette tapes.

Roads splitting and bulging at their seams

into pot holes scantily patched.

Pulling over and discovering.

Reflections off the hood.

Photographs through sunglasses.

Looking through mounds of dirt and shiny things

for unburied treasure.

A pile of terra cotta tile shards

with sunflowers.

A bag full!

The coolest jukebox ever.

♥

It is officially Spring Break! I'm enjoying a few, much needed, hours to myself. Lately the only alone time I've come across is during all-nighters (yes I am a procrastinator). That said I have much school work to do despite this respite, but I will not neglect artistic pursuits. There are pictures to be taken, pages to be painted, mail art to be created, and dreams to be had.

A list in progress:

Climb a tree!
Self portraiture: photo, sketch, paint
Develop Clare's narrative
Conceptual photography
Make prints of my photos
Write a short film already
Shoot 8mm
Get organized
Road trip
Think of a series
Practice yoga
Drive (still don't have my license...)
Get published
Pick a major

Curiosities galore.

2009-03-18T16:39:00.017-05:00

A package from Kate!

She collects bones and nests and bugs and flowers.

And crafts amazing and creepy displays for them.

She also crafts clothes and diapers and bags and has an etsy shop.

This is the shrunken head she made with her boys out of an apple.

From her letter: "Little bones, a grouse foot, a rusty nail from our barn, butterflies that accompany our summer days, dragon fly wings, birds nest made with birch bark." And a Virgen de Guadalpue matchbox filled with little treasures including a little rubber frog and ladybug, shark teeth, a molar.

I was so intrigued by Kate's curiosities on flickr, you can see them here, here, and here, that she sent me a box full of treasures from her home. I can't wait to make little homes for them of my own. For now they're a livin in the jewelry case and tins.

Thank you so much, Kate!

xo Lara

Rainy day with Anais.

2009-03-09T14:24:00.010-05:00

I never knew that this one loves the camera so. She must have got it from her mama. Anais is typically the aloof, flighty cat, unless you're in her domain then she follows you around everywhere and chirps like a bird. She never learned how to meow and she climbs to the top of the windows with her claws. It was very nice of her to model for me for 200+ frames workin' the window sill for me like a covercat :) I must shoot more of the creatures in the future. They're so expressive.
Oy it's midtern time. Adios.

xo lara

Mail Art ♥

2009-03-08T19:53:00.000-05:00

From Randi! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world :)

Did you know she's working on a new book!

And that my face is going to be in it?

And hopefully a photograph that I took.

It's a mail art book. On it she wrote that she's been making them since she was little.
And in a perfect bit of serendipitousness it came on the first spring-springy day!
It's full of her photography and stencil art.

Bits and pieces of Randi.
And a jolt of inspiration!Thank you so much Art Queen, for the rush of art energy. I feel like I could explode into saturated Larushka fragments everywhere.

Mama Warrior cat was super excited too and kept posing with the art on the front steps. She was getting quite the amorous with the lens.Love that cat affection.xox-Lara

Cycled Thoughts magic.

2009-03-08T12:17:00.007-05:00

I was on of the lucky winners in Sarah Elizabeth Condon's Cycled Thoughts Giveaway! Not only does Sarah keep an art & design blog called Visual Influence, she is also the curator of The Eclipse Gallery. Her Cycled Thoughts series raises critical questions about the relationship between artists and critics. In so doing she inspires: "How can you have your own opinion if you buy into other’s? Critics are being replaced by a general awareness of the capabilities of ourselves. How can you, as an artist, create original art, if you care?" She describes the series as "autobiographical, a conglomerate of me. Recycled elements, found objects from my frequent nature hikes, stitching, and brutally honest text. A reflection of my life."

I got it in the mail Friday! This precious object jingles due to the bones and glass enclosed in repurposed packaging stitched onto crumpled paper on which Sarah wrote her thoughts on love in pencil. She advised me to hang it by nailing it directly into the wall. So cool, thank you Sarah!

Pieces from Cycled Thoughts and her new series Brave New Typography are for sale in her shop.

♥

Ghost jars & jumping cats

2009-03-06T16:41:00.006-06:00

A warm afternoon at home.

Indoor cats with springs in their step.

Drinking chai tea on the steps with warrior cat curled up at my feet.

Hot cat fur and happy art mail.

Adios February.

2009-03-03T16:31:00.018-06:00

On Saturdays, if it's nice outside I have been ditching all the reading, writing, and computing in order to drive aimlessly with A.P. and take pictures. When its not nice, we drive and look for places to take pictures when it is nice again.

I'm looking forward to improving at my new hobby and to (hopefully) getting a camera of my very own. Also looking forward to warm sunshine, afternoons spent at home. picnicks with the warrior cat, explorations, photo sessions, and perhaps even a trip to Peru (not likely but a girl can dream, right?).

And I caught up with my moon!

Shout out to my new friend Kate!

xo Lara

Bark and onion in my eye.

2009-02-11T18:58:00.002-06:00

Learning to turn of the TV, to spend my time more effectively.

I am already behind in my classes, which means even less time for art--or guiltless art.

I don't want to work, I just want to play in my journal all day! (and listent to oldies!)

And dream of a space of my own, of being free from the weight of this house and all its contents

Expanding expanding.

Weightless.

Contemplating the hours.

2009-02-08T17:13:00.011-06:00

Another drive in search of photographic adventure.

We saw a few abandoned and semi-abandoned sites that we'd like to explore further, took country roads with dilapidated farms and defunct restauruants.

Our best find (or what made us get out of the car) was this historical building which at the turn of the century was home to "good Irish stock." Agent P. is enthralled with old structures and abandoned factories, learning about their histories, dreaming about the people who used to live or work there, and ultimately preserving them with her camera. It's frustrating that this subject is now en vogue, causing people to desecrate these beautiful remnants just to get a good shot.

She sat on the stoop and contemplated the hours of the people who had sat there before, and the hours in between. What did they wait for?

Blue sky, red brick, green grass, perfect sunlight: perfect day.

Another set of twins.

Lone door, pebbles, and snow.

Contrast.

Contrast & treasure!

Slick pavement, beautiful road shot through the winshield.

There were so many gorgeous puddles and illuminated praire grasses.

Loving the warm weather.

And there are ghost towns in Illinois. Who knew? Not as cool as the ones out west but worth exploring. There's a county in southern illinois with five such towns!

xo Lara

Chasing the moon.

2009-02-04T22:14:00.005-06:00

I saw the most beautiful sliver of a sideways moon last week on my way home and planets like jellyfish, billowy tentacles of light ascending toward the heavens. The sliver was daintily perched between the two lines of trees on either side of the street. When I went back out to take a picture it was gone, I ran to the highest spot but I couldn't find it. The next night, it was high in the sky and no longer a sliver, but I snapped a quick picture anyway down my driveway. I'll be ready if it comes around again this month: February 28th.

xo Lara

January mosaic.

2009-02-04T18:55:00.004-06:00

A January mosaic., originally uploaded by kaliji.

January was a great month, I:

became enthralled with a new medium, photography.

fell in love with winter.

went on a few adventures.

finished a journal (well, practically).

created a piece outside of my journal.

connected with amazing artists.

saw a sideways moon and jellyfish in the sky.

dreamed new dreams.

I wonder what February will bring?

New journal, new directions

2009-01-30T18:36:00.006-06:00

It's a huge computation notebook bound comp style. Don't you just love the cover? I have two smaller spirals by the same company for my compulsive non-school related notetaking and collecting of words. Each journal is getting larger than the one before.

I found a stack of painted papers that I made a few years ago that inspired me to collage. Agent P. was really intrigued by them, so perhaps a paper painting afternoon is in order. It's difficult for us to both get into art mode at the same time and try to share what little floor space we have in our room. I can't wait to have my own little art room one day with a big table. A small space can be confining to the act of creation, not being able to find what one needs or see what one has. One day :)

Refuse, bark, charms

Deer have been lent a special significance from my mother (it was her birthday yesterday!), I still keep my eyes peeled when driving through wooded areas for them. Such majestic creatures. I can't wait to hike through the forest preserves and soak in the green, commune with the flora, and collect more natural detritus for art.

The deer and fauns are from a book I borrowed on how to make hand shadows, I traced them onto notebook paper saturated in olive oil. I love the selectively transparent effect it lends.

I'm really excited about the direction this journal is moving me towards. Collage is less intimidating on big graph paper for some reason. Whoop whoop can't wait to go outside and journal.

xo Lara

Nothing, Indiana.

2009-01-27T19:56:00.000-06:00

Pictures of nothing.

Like sandy water in the sky.

Textures that go unnoticed

or are eradicated because their beauty is not apparent.

Seeing the little things

and appreciating them before they disappear or are washed away.

This intriguing structure may not remain for much longer.

Agent P and I decided that we needed to go for a Sunday drive. We flipped a coin once to determine North or South and again for East and West. This lead us to Indiana where we saw a rainbow in a single cloud floating above riots of development. When it is warmer and the snow isn't to our knees we will try and find this house again and remember that there were once footprints in the snow. I want to bring my camera everywhere, it's becoming a part of me. I'm always taking note of pictures I would like to take but soon forget about.

Did you go on Sunday drives as a kid to another neighborhood or state? To the city or country? To people watch? My mother used to tell me stories from her childhood when she would nestle in the car with her mother and father every Sunday for a Sunday Drive. I hope that driving aimlessly to Love FM and the oldies stations becomes a Sunday ritual; having the freedom to pull over at every point of interest and take pictures (when it's not freezing). I love it, even if the destination seems boring the act of driving and listening to that happy music you can sing along to is worth it.

Can you guess what the nothings are?

xo Lara

Plumbing pianos.

2009-01-25T19:52:00.009-06:00

Marisol, a kindred photographer and friend, initiated a Chicago adventure this weekend. She spirited me away in the dead of night to Hyde Park, which is where I spent a few of my "formative" years. We stayed at her friends apartment for the night two blocks from my old one. In the morning after coffee coupled with pitas and olive oil we poked around his apartment with our cameras (including the rooms of his roommates...)

There was this great enclosure between the apartments with a lid of windows. The photo below was taken through a window.

Then we grabbed all day CTA passes and decided to start in the loop. She took me to her favorite building, a relic from the late 18th century, and it instantly became my favorite building as well. We spent hours here, discovering hidden rooms and lonely instruments and

this magnificent white room with windows overlooking the water

twins

Crawling, sliding, clicking shutters and posing all over the these dusty surfaces for art

The grand white room contained a stage and a shrouded piano

harmonious trinity

plumbing pianos for their secretslooking through keyholes and opening doors

finding ghosts at work

we slipped through a door, went down a short flight of stairs, into a dark room through a thick plastic curtain filled with machines with red and green lights from floor to ceiling and thick wire tresses flowing across the ceiling. Marisol found a door, the light from which illuminated the machinery, leading to this fire escape on the 8th floor. I'm afraid of heights so i had to take this picture as proof :)

Click the mosaic to see the full set. Our next stop was the Museum of Contmporary Photography which is featuring a series of work by Michael Wolf entitled The Transparent City. "Chicago is known for work by innovative architects such as David Adler, Daniel Burnham, Louis H. Sullivan, and Frank Lloyd Wright. After World War II, it established itself as a world capital of modern architecture influenced by the international style of Mies van der Rohe and home to notable projects by Helmut Jahn, Philip Johnson, and more recently Frank Gehry. [...] Wolf depicts the city more abstractly, concentrating less on individual well-known structures and more on the contradictions and conflicts between architectural styles when visually flattened together in a photography. His pictues look through the multiple layers of glass to reveal the environment, focusing specifically on voyeurism and the contemporary urban landscape in flux. Wolf explores the complex, sometimes blurred distinctions between private and public life in a city made transparent by his intense observation." --Natasha Egan, Associate Director and CuratorChicago is a fascinating metropolis by virtue of it's claim of the only throughly modern city in the world all because it nearly burnt to the ground in 1871. The building we played in was built a few years later and is remarkably intact. I can't see myself choosing to live in a metropolis (although the prospect is intriguing) however, I feel honored to live near enough to be able to explore its relics and learn its history through exploration. Marisol and I ended our jaunt by hopping on the El again and rode it until we exited at stop we deemed compelling, wandering around another hour before returning home. It was just the ticket to get out of the house, meet warm people, wander about, and take hundreds of pictures.
Happy wandering :)xo Lara

Adventures in Library Land part 2.

2009-01-21T17:32:00.002-06:00

Continuing to poke around my library. The Natural Sciences Center caught my eye. It is located in the center of the library and is encased by glass so visitors too feel like specimens when exploring the curiosities within, large study tables facing one of the walls. The masks in Part 1 protrude from a wall across the hall; it as if they too are peering through the glass at you. I love how these architectural and artistic nuances converge to create an uncanny little experience. Thanks to Photoshop my snapshots came out well considering how quickly I moved through the space under the direct gaze of these masks. When I was originally editing the first set of photos I added speech bubbles to the masks in which they alluded to the treasures on the other side of the glass and, therefore, also to this post, but later deleted them thinking it too childish.

I want to make dioramas of my own with chamberpots and robots.

Lots of editing to bring out the contrast between the hearts and the gelatinous solution in which they are suspended. The cross-section looks like an eerie fruit.

I will never forget having to dissect a rat in highschool. At least I never had to touch it since I deliberately partnered with an affable nerd. Sometimes as I walk by library patrons I detect the scent of fermaldehyde lingering in the air and hope its just my imagination.

A little artistic editing here but I tried to keep the beautiful texture and colors of their wings intact. A self portrait indicating a rebirth of sorts? I'm not sure.

This exercise somehow managed to lead me down a spiral path in Amazon's book search resulting in about 50 book requests divied up between my college and local libraries for books on curiousities, robots, natural history museums, automata, pop-up books, puppets, hand shadows, the evolution of the silver screen, and more (click on my Shelfari widget to see the titles!). I dream of a magical room in the house we will have which will be devoted to books and swaddled by built in bookshelves. Agent P has sworn to help construct my dream library and insists upon installing one of those moving ladders as seen in Beauty and the Beast (my favorite part of the movie when I was little was when Belle was in the Beast's library). I crave bookshelves. I have only two stout ones from childhood which do not begin to cradle my collection. Consequently, I am fixated on having proper bookshelves and think to myself that my bedroom would be so perfect and organized if only I possessed them. I will continue to be the Oscar to Agent P.'s Felix regardless of fixtures to be sure :)

Are you fixated on anything at the moment?

xo Lara

Seven veils.

2009-01-16T16:23:00.006-06:00

Seven veils., originally uploaded by kaliji.

One of the best perks about working in a library, especially a collegiate library, is book discards. When books are decommisioned only staff are allowed to take them. I wonder what happens to the ones I don't ferret away in my desk and are left unclaimed. Most of the books are old and would be great for altering, but I haven't gotten around to trying my hand at altered books yet. I jump on anything written in another language or that has great pictures. When I saw a copy of Mata Hari with magestic black and white images I was barely able to contain myself. The image on the left is an experiment in gel medium transfers of one of the plates in Mata Hari. It is my favorite image in the book with the woman's royal stance and her stomach protruding proudly. What I love about belly dancing is that it looks best with a little "jelly"--otherwise there is not much to undulate. This page is about loving and accepting your body. Most of us have jiggly parts, stretchmarks, and cellulite in a milieu where the natural female form is no longer considered beautiful and augmentation is commonplace. Corporations make billions from making us hate ourselves and we tend to buy the hype and in turn their products that promise to make us worthy and happy with our bodies. No product can do this but we can. If we spent half the energy turned inward in self-criticism and turned it outward, towards advancing the causes of women, we could affect real change.

xo Lara

Winter advisory with rusty icicles.

2009-01-15T17:06:00.009-06:00

There is nothing better than a self-declared snow day with which to bask in the beauty of winter and spend time alone. The frost on my windows is beginning to melt. I snapped these yesterday when it was 14 below.

My dream catcher and witching ball against frozen webbing.

Tin bowls scattered around the house to catch the leaks.

With the lighting it looks like a divine messenger...hmmm

Dreaming about Clare's world and thinking she might need a glittery mohawk of flower petals :)

What do you day dream about as the frost builds and the snow falls?

xo Lara

First day of school.

2009-01-13T22:13:00.009-06:00

Getting ready for the first day of a new semester
Documenting my new back to school ensemble: rust colored shirt and jingly earrings that remind me of peacock feathers
and getting distracted by the textures, patterns, and curiosities of the bathroom my mother decorated in the seventies
lovingly touching them through a lens
photographing objects of the past while embarking on something new
illuminating the trinity while i'm at it
Focusing

but not too muchWondering how to fuse intellectual activities with the creative thrust that makes lifeworth living. Hoping that I can manipulate the two causing them to push up on each other's edges this semester.
Taking, editing, and uploading pictures is relaxing. It is the quickest and most gratifying way to connect and explore artistically.I don't need to be in a "zone," just a subject that intrigues me.Art journaling can be more of a struggle.Still searchingfor a personal, effortless style. wish me luck! xo lara

Adventures in Library Land part 1.

2009-01-12T11:08:00.006-06:00

Making collages when bosslady is in a meeting or out to lunch using scraps, junk mail, and office supplies.

Discovering the beauty of delicate white-out webs.
Slipping away to browse the stacks, admire the artwork, take pictures, and find natural light.

The starry eyed magician.

The leader of the pack (vroom vroom)

The lush.

Clare keeps her treasure in her bellybutton.

2009-01-11T19:25:00.016-06:00

clare's bellybutton., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Today was the day for a new banner. I love it. Change feels good. My old banner was too non-specific and boring.

I missed Clare, the tree spirit that briefly possessed me a few months ago. In so doing, the became part of an unfinished narrative concerning malevolent ogres and and giants that peel trees with potato peelers and create discreet color block graffitti on forgotten walls. One of my "ART-solutions" this year is to overcome my fear of creating outside of the safe confines of a book. This is my first independent piece (I did it!). I hope to create a series about Clare as her story unfolds in my dreams.

This all started because of Kimya Dawson whose music saturates the soundtrack of Juno. Her songs make my day when listened to in the morning and get me into create mode. Her song "I Like Giants" definitely infiltrated my consciousness and led me down a path toward Clare (Agent P. helped too).

My favorite lines are: "I like giants. Especially girl giants. Because all girls feel too big sometimes regardless of their size." I relate especially to that last sentence. That state of being so filled with inspiration and trajections of thought. As well as the state of being filled with joy or sadness. Having the freedom to experience thought and emotion to this extent is one of the many gifts facilitated by being a woman. It is an state of experience that many of our foremothers were not free to actualize for the consequences of being labeled a hysteric were severe. I would like to think that being a woman who allows herself to feel to such an extent is no longer negative. However the treatment by the media of the talented women in the political who filled boob tubes across the nation last year has caused me to think that we have not come as far as we would like to believe. It has certainly caused me to read my news online from sources without a recent history of misogyny, but I digress. If I were to truly translate my sentiments about the present state of "feminism" in this country into written form, it would be extensive and no doubt fueled by vitriol.

Instead, I will leave you with this clip of the official music video for "I Like Giants." The song is set to a really cute interpretative dance created and performed by her friends who are also members of the free choir she established in Olympia, Washington that anyone can attend. If I ever visit Olympia that will be on my short list of places to go for sure :) What music inspires you as you create?

xo Lara

One of those days.

2009-01-10T15:23:00.008-06:00

what's next?, originally uploaded by kaliji.

There is so much going on in this spread.

Where will I go next? And when?

When will our life together truly begin?

Can I cut it at a small liberal arts college when I still haven't been able to use my voice outside of the realm of art?

Will I be able to hold on to my art?

When I really take the time to think on it, I find myself more afraid than excited at all the possibilities before me. There are simply too many. Too many things I want to do. Too many things I could do. How do I start making choices that are not based on fear? Just do it i guess. A succinct slogan for a towering thought process capable of dwarfing what should be an exhilarating time.

And just do more art! Art journals are so amazing.

Those onion skins.

2009-01-09T16:32:00.005-06:00

layers and negative space are so beautiful in nature.

Creatures.

2009-01-06T19:18:00.006-06:00

Creatures., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Doodling can be terrifying for perfectionists. The best, meaningful, doodles arise out of the nothingness where the act of their creation lacks intention and awareness. The fish and horned figure were doodles such as this that kept tugging at me to be cultivated and used. The bear in the last post was born of an image transfer gone horribly wrong. My sharpie followed the remnants of the paper that was supposed to transfer the image and a bear emerged. Consequently its leg was created with intention through the recreation of that mistake. I like to believe these creatures show themselves for a reason.

If doodling scares you too try this:

❶ Close your eyes and with a thick marker allow yourself to make a continuous mark on the page. Stare at the result. Turn it around. Do you see anything? Then make what appears in your mind's eye more apparent. Trace it. Work with it. Let it grow. Or leave it as is and smile.

❷ Or take a piece of paper and coat it with a thin layer of acrylic medium or plain old glue. Place it on a page in your journal and burnish with a spoon or the implement closest to you. Tear the paper away before the glue dries and doodle around what remains.

About that onion skin, M.M. was corrupted by my foray into potato worship. As a result, she preserved the skins from onions which went on to flavor bean soup and gave them to me in the beautiful red netting they came in figuring that I would enjoy "doing something" with them. She was right :) After taking pictures of those papery wrappings I had to glue one into molie. I can't wait to start a vegetable garden and dig my hands into the earth. To use the inedible remnants.

xo Lara

New Molie!

2009-01-06T11:50:00.001-06:00

Bear fetish. originally uploaded by kaliji

Glitter oil salesman. originally uploaded by kaliji

The excitement of having a brand spankin new moleskine has yet to wear off :) I haven't had one since February when I moved on to a larger journal with spiral binding. I just could not stay away. I'm excited to have a new, clean slate for January. A space where ideas can evolve and flower into works independent of a binding: a goal for 2009. A place to doodle and plant the seeds of inspiration.

I have never been one to take too much stock in "New Years." After all, each day begins a new year. Since the fortune-telling ritual, however, I am digging the Gregorian calendar. A tangible shift is occuring within me. For the past few days I have been feeling strangely content and serene--even joyful at the oddest of times. Listening to Kimya Daweson on my way to work this morning filled me to the point that I felt as if I were about to cry. A wave of what can only be described of as sentimentality took hold of me as I was handling the the influx of periodicals to the library I work at yesterday. I even enjoyed doing tedious tasks like copying and collating due to the sense of peace these tasks invoked within. My eyes are opening. I am consistently mystified by my day-to-day surroundings. I feel as if I can call myself an artist--a label which previously did not remain adhered for more than a few minutes. It is bonded to membrane of my soul now as if by epoxy instead of electrical tape.

On Sunday the family fled to our favorite pizza joint for a few hours to be "out in the world." Mama Marshamallow's friend, who is a surrogate grandfather of sorts, was playing the claw game. First he captured a stuffed kitten which he gave to M.M. He surprised me with a monkey, his next and final prize. A monkey! My "sea monkey" manifested again! The mascot of new beginnings has since taken up a position of honor next to my Frida Kahlo display.

The roots of this shift are only partly steeped in the mysticism wrapped up in the new year. Mostly it is you. Your words. Your art. Your spirit. Thank you for all your inspiration.

xo Lara

2009

2009-01-04T17:59:00.002-06:00

2009, originally uploaded by kaliji.

This first page for the new year conceals an affirmation for 2009 and glittery punquita faeries saying "live fearlessly!" Agent and I went to Dick Blick the other day for the first time and what a magical place it is. I bought a slew of random implements to play with including some chunky sharpie markers to graffiti up '09.
Blick sells these cheap and nifty squirt bottles that are perfect for making your own fluid acyrlics. Mix one part water to one part acrylic and let the dripping begin. Way cheaper than buying an assortment of fluid acrylics to achieve the same effect. The chunky sharpies drip as well if you press the tip down firmly for a few seconds. I love the excitement that is evoked as paint careens down the page, wondering where it will go and if it will spread to other pages. The subsequent few pages left in my journal are now all tinged with red in one way or another. The impermanence and chance involved in working in a spiral journal especially is thrilling!
Live fearlessly!
xo Lara

New Year Abstractions.

2009-01-02T13:02:00.004-06:00

Happy (Belated) New Year from the Doodiekins Family

Agent P. and I, not being your average 20 year olds, celebrated the New Year with my mother, Mama Marshamallow in our usual swanky manner with a Latvian tradition passed on to us by our dear friend Ellada and a little bubbly of course.

When the clock stuck twelve we screamed like banshees accompanied by antique noisemakers, throwing ribbons, and dancing up and down. After a toast and picture taking we proceeded to our favorite part of the evening: the Latvian fortune-telling ritual.

Colorful candles are lit and allowed to burn until each has a pool of wax, we decided to use red as that was the color Ellada chose when she shared this practice with us. The molten wax is then poured into a bowl of cool water for as long as you feel necessary. Allow the piece to cool before removing it from the water and set aside.

As with many divination rituals, one is supposed to create just one wax abstraction from which to extract their fortune. When you are ready listen to and examine your creation in order to divine what the new year shall bestow upon you. Then pass around to others to hear their interpretations.

At first mine looked like a smiling monkey, not sure what that means, but the tail broke off. Despite my best efforts at soldering it back on it just would not stay put which I take as a sign that it is supposed to remain this way. Now it just looks like a smiling face. Perhaps 2009 will bring me much happiness and joy :) I hope so. In 2009 I want to take more chances, do things as opposed to simply thinking of or planning on doing them, explore my environment, stop making life decisions based on fear, create more art, and love with every fiber of my being.

Here are all of our little abstractions together. Mama Marshamallow decided to make many instead of one so that she could read each abstraction as representative of a different area in her life. Agent Pineapples is the big one in the upper left. She thought it looked barfy when it was oriented horizontally, where as I saw a bush of berries. In this photograph it looks like a beautiful cameo. We have yet to fully analyze our creations but I just wanted to share my favorite part of New Years.

Best wishes for the New Year!

xo Lara

Remembering fall.

2008-12-30T09:13:00.007-06:00

Amy's farm

Photo sessions with Baby the deer.

Playing dress up in a sinewy crate.

Posing for Amy's camera.

Feeling beautiful.

Examining a table of turkey feet laid out to dry.

Editing these photos took me back to these magical moments in time.

Missing the photographic goddesses who are traipsing around Scotland meeting trapeze girls and wishing I was along for the adventure.

Trying to see the beauty in a particularly crappy winter.

The winter blues., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Perhaps if I had long underwear I would be more apt to explore my surroundings, traveling coffee mug in hand to warm the throat. When I have all day to play the winter blues can't catch up to me.

Playing with Potatoes.

2008-12-29T17:04:00.014-06:00

Mama Marshamallow made fried potatoes and bacon coupled with fried eggs for brunch. The potatoes were so cute and wrinkly while they were lying out to dry that I borrowed a few and took pictures of them. I also made a few textures of my own: scratched wood and swirls of plaster. I am going to be on the look out now for intriguing textures and patterns. Perhaps you will too :)

vintage potato., originally uploaded by kaliji.

texture by Andrea Rusky

hot potato., originally uploaded by kaliji.

texture by moi: the ceiling of my boudoir

abstract potato., originally uploaded by kaliji.

texture by moi

creepy potato., originally uploaded by kaliji.

texture by Andrea Rusky

What is TTV anyway?

2008-12-29T12:14:00.015-06:00

If you're a flickr afficionado you've no doubt noticed an onslaught of artsy photos with intriguing borders cropping up all over the place. In case I am not the last person to figure out what TTV is all about I thought I would do a post about it. TTV is an acronym for Through The Viewfinder; a TTV shot is constructed by taking a picture with your digital camera through the viewfinder of any other camera. Sounds easy enough, however the real fancy TTV's require a digital SLR with a macro lens and a dual reflex camera. While I have access to a digital SLR, I do not own a macro lens and lack the requisite patience to build an apparatus which will allow the cameras to cohabitate. However, if that is up your alley check out Russ Morris' tutorial. Luckily, faux TTV's seem to be in vogue and they are ridiculously easy to achieve in Photoshop, here's how:

❶ Grab some free TTV borders. Try Noise and Dust Through the Vie wfinder and Quality Textures and TTVs. And remember who made it so you can credit them later.

❷ Open up a photograph and a few of the textures you downloaded in Photoshop.

❸ Choose one texture to begin with. Select all of it (Ctl A), Copy it (Ctl C), and Paste it (Ctl V) on your photo. It will look wonky.

❹ In the Layers Palette click on the layer you just pasted and in the dropdown menu above it change the Layer Property from Normal to Multiply. Now it looks better.

❺ Now Transform (Ctl T) the texture to fit your photo. Hold down the shift key as you

make it bigger or smaller to keep its proportions intact. Then press the Enter key.

❻ Flatten the image (Layers>Flatten Image) and Crop away any excess.

❼ Try on different TTV textures to see what works best with your image.

Before and After

This last one is an example of how the tutorial can be used with any texture.

Texture by Andrea Rusky

TTV textures by Nesster

I'm going to pretend to organize my emphemera when really scouring for my own textures to use.

Happy playing and downloading! Wouldn't these be cool to print off and use in your journal! :)

I can't wait to use this one.

xo Lara

Happy Holidays.

2008-12-25T12:35:00.002-06:00

happy holidays, originally uploaded by kaliji.

May they be warm & snuggly!

♥ Lara

home sweet home.

2008-12-24T19:02:00.006-06:00

coming home., originally uploaded by kaliji.

More like saccharine but it's where I want to be, for Christmas anyway--I can't wait to go out and have an adventurous life with Agent Pineapple. It never ceases to amaze me how the spirit of the holidays can bring people together, how I can actually find myself wanting to spend time in a place that I spend so much energy trying to get away from. Christmas is very sneaky that way, causing you to appreciate what you have especially in times such as these.
Here's wishing that you too find yourself in a place of gratitude, warmth, and love ♥.

TEXT-ure :)

2008-12-22T11:15:00.020-06:00

texture., originally uploaded by kaliji.

This page also resulted from my "alone time." Last week I bought my first tub of gesso and needless to say it was a momentous occasion. I now feel as though I can use gesso liberally and with abandon!
I love writing in it only to obscure it during the layering and impressing process, painting on the still wet gesso and swirling it around, pressing found textures into it, scribbling, adding masking tape and pools of dirty paint water, and finally dripping gooey wax from the candles I had lit for ambiance.
Is it a work in progress or a finished journal page? I don't know. I do know that I like it just the way it is and that I'm afraid of killing it.

- ♥ -

primary colors.

2008-12-22T11:15:00.019-06:00

primary colors., originally uploaded by kaliji.

I had a few precious hours to myself on Sunday and this was one of the resulting pages. Usually my only alone time is in the bathroom and as one who thrives on solitude, the grind of the last few months has not been conducive to creative pursuits. I delight in finding myself going back to hues inspired by the primary colors. I am always reminded of kindergarten and the freedom with which we made marks on the page. I'm still holding out for a (free) kindergarten for adults.
Fun fun fun ♥

Updates.

2008-12-11T18:25:00.007-06:00

Since I've been AWOL from the blogosphere for awhile I thought I'd make a list of what I've been up to, mind you its not much besides ze work and school.
❶ Agent Pineapple and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary November 1st
❷ Agent Pineapple is now employed as a barista and loves it
❸ We have a new friend! She's a talented photographer and is bilingual, double score!
❹ I am now bespectacled in the dorkiest glasses I could find
❺ Went to the Chicago Underground Film Festival for the second year in a row, caught three features, and ran into an old friend on the train and dragged him along for the ride
❻ I've developed an unhealthy obsession with watching MeTV, very bad I know. Perry Mason, Roseanne, Green Screen Adventures, Hart to Hart, Police Woman....
❼ Finished up my last Fall semester at community college, unless I stick around to take fun classes on the cheapo before transfering the next Spring.

Space Helmets or Anti-Satellite Apparatuses?

2008-12-02T17:12:00.011-06:00

This what Agent Pineapple and I did over Thanksgiving break. I had been wanting to make space helmets ever since I got this kitschy craft book over a year ago. I was hoping that this exercise in crafty fun will pave the way for more creative adventures as soon as I'm free from the bondage of the fall semester.
If you are finding yourself in need of a space helmet/anti-satellite apparatus then follow my directions below.

Materials:
○ 1 large balloon.
○ 1 roll of tin foil.
○ masking tape.
○ aluminum tape.
○ scissors.
○ bits and bobs.
○ your head.

Inflate balloon until it larger than your head, tie.
Wrap it with sheets of tin foil a few feet long until it is entirely covered 3-4 times over.
Cut small pieces of aluminum tape and crinkle so that it will blend in seamlessly. Place on any trouble areas where the foil is popping up.
Insert scissors in the bottom, pow! the balloon pops, and cut a hole large enough for your head to fit through. A lot of trial and error with this one.
With your masking tape, cover the interior of your soon to be space helmet. This will strengthen it and preserve its form.
Cut a hole for your eyes to peek through!
Cut longer pieces of aluminum tape, crinkle, and stick around the edges of the hole you just cut. You may want to put more masking tape on the other side so no sharp edges irritate yo face.
Trick out with detritus from your junk drawer and make it look spacey.

Our masks:
Agent Pineapple's mask features a small tin hat and contrasting masking tape trim.

My mask features three very important knobs which originated from tires and two antennae from recycled notebook spirals.Alien ancestor?

- ♥ -

flotsom jetsom

2008-10-01T19:28:00.006-05:00

flotsom jetsom, originally uploaded by kaliji.

One of those pages I had given up on in frustration and decided to revamp with some found crappola, new and from the stash. Transforming pages such as these is a good exercise when attempting to launch oneself back into the creative milieu. Since you already gave up on those pages in a sense, you don't worry about the results like you would with an entirely new page. I also foundreally like the idea of using old notes from classes I've taken for background fodder and selectively letting words peer through the paint.

The kitty cats (I affectionately call them boobie faces) would like recognition for their contributions, they were "helping out" while I was taking the pictures of my journal by laying in front of the pages and playing musical chairs.

Sensi

Anais/Anna Bear/Slut Muffin

- ♥ -

mandala.

2008-09-29T20:59:00.003-05:00

mandala., originally uploaded by kaliji.

"The earth is a living Mandala--a structural matrix through and from which flow a succession of changes, elemental forms, and primal urges, each surpassing the other in an infinite variety of organic structures and impulses, crowned by the supreme attribute of reflective consciousness. It's flow, though working through a relatively well-defined structure, is subject to the infinite processes of growth and transformation by virtue of the ever-changing relationships both internal and external to its basic structure." --Mandala

Contour Party On-The-Go.

2008-09-29T19:53:00.006-05:00

contour #1., originally uploaded by kaliji.

okey.

contour #2., originally uploaded by kaliji.

dokey.

contour #3., originally uploaded by kaliji.

artickokey.

Notepad + sharpies + a human (or representations of a human) = portable fun.
I do these at work, in class, between classes, at coffee shops with Agent Pineapple. We are each trying to complete a notepad with contours of each other; we have quite a ways to go but projects make the mundane bearable. Not to mention, the results are often hilarious.

- ♥ -

Saying Yes to September.

2008-08-23T10:23:00.009-05:00

Come August I become consumed with tunnel vision fixed upon yet another fall semester at community college, still wading in life possibilities. It feels much like drowning in the amorphous rainbow that is a McDonald's ball pit with nothing substantial to latch onto for the sake of self-preservation.

I noticed that once engulfed in the clamor of The First Day I become hyper-aware of the social dynamics my peers prescribe to. We are lonely souls ricocheting off one another in the search for a tribe, a cult, a gang to call our own--any connection substantial enough to transcend the collective memory of social networking sites into something more concrete. Something accompanied with nicknames concerning canned food items, spirit animals, or sexually explicit catch-phrases. Something which includes forcing nicotine in and expelling it out of our lungs in one shared self-destructive, self-aware breath. Something which has everything to do with quantity and nothing to do with quality. The more bodies you can claim as your friends the better. Resigned to this being a necessary and unavoidable aspect of my social development, I realize that I need to open up, reach out, and connect with individuals my age. It is too easy to withdraw, to burrow oneself deeper into that proverbial ball pit and spend your precious free time watching every Gilmore Girls episode you own (which would be seasons one through five--the good ones). Or maybe that's just me ;)

In September I want to focus. Focus on academics and a few goals that are within my capabilities to make tangible such as creating a space that Agent Pineapple and I want to be in as opposed to just sleep in. A space where creativity, academia, and relaxation can flower. This means consciously filling the well; it is imperative to keep the well half-full by default, to focus on the bigger picture and grasping at anything to keep it saturated with soul water.

Therefore today I have been spending my precious hours of "Lara time" organizing, musing about art, listening to the mix-CD my sister gave me, and playing dress-up: all well-filling activities in their own right. I am breathing. It has been so long that I was worried that my body forgot how.

- ♥ -

Shiny pom-pom!

2008-08-12T14:29:00.002-05:00

shiny pom-pom, originally uploaded by kaliji.

For Self Portrait Tuesday; theme: Shine.

This little gold pom-pom pounced on me on my way to work and I just couldn't resist it. I bounced it in my hand and rubbed it between my fingers the rest of the way, mesmerized. It is a magical worry stone; I'm glad it found me :)

- ♥ -

sunflowers.

2008-08-11T05:22:00.003-05:00

sunflowers., originally uploaded by kaliji.

happy happy happy.

i forgot where i was going with this.

my lovely brought me sunflowers.

they make me giddy and smiley

and look perfect on my altar in

the happy mocha chai bottle

that i knew would be of use

one day

♥

Gratuitous mirror self portraits.

2008-08-08T10:33:00.009-05:00

gratuitous mirror self portrait, originally uploaded by kaliji.

another gratuitous mirror self portrait., originally uploaded by kaliji.

adding to the chaos., originally uploaded by kaliji.

It's not my fault that my old neighborhood has amazing public washrooms. I just noticed how when I take pictures my pinky is in full salute, that's embarrassing. The digit becomes erect when I hold coffee cups too, and with other beverages on occasion. Fortunately the problem can be circumvented by using a straw; they should make straws for hot beverages. That doesn't solve the picture-taking problem though.

So we meet again, August!

2008-08-06T16:02:00.009-05:00

Dear August,
Regrettably, it seems as though you're already over. Let me be clear: I'm not blaming you. It's just that every year around this time my proverbial plate is piled thicker than that of a trucker's in an Old Country Buffet. Next week I work 40 hours as opposed to the usual 25. The week after that, Wednesday the 20th, to be exact; Fall term begins. Then, add to that the flaccid condition of my work/school schedule. It's unfortunate that so much stress is associated with you, August. Regardless, there are some things I would like to accomplish/work towards in these coming weeks.
In no particular order:
1. Fix bike. Bike. Bike rides. (Put the fun between your legs!)
2. Prioritize and organize.
3. Write a "manifesto" for Walking Wednesday, Walk your Wednesday...whatever.
4. Delve back into the art journal. Draw, paint, tape found objects in there...whatever.
5. Wake up with yoga 3-5 days a week ♥
6. Work towards achieving balance.
7. Start doing whatever needs to be done now to prevent my sanity from fleeing on account of fall term.
Thank you, for trying your best, August, in the face of all this adversity. You are a stand up chap. Perhaps you could send a surplus of mild, sunny days over my way here in Chicagoland in order to make up for, well, you know inadvertently sucking.
Sincerely,
Larushka

.....♥

Julio en Mosaico

2008-08-05T10:20:00.006-05:00

1. more bike love., 2. In memoriam, 3. This is my treasure chest., 4. the hats, they find us., 5. Not available, 6. Not available, 7. Not available, 8. Not available, 9. Not available, 10. Not available, 11. Not available, 12. Not available, 13. Not available, 14. clares home, 15. childs play, 16. smile.

July thoughts to follow after the yoga--burst of cleaning--morning pages trifecta. Hopefully situating the cleaning in between the other two will sustain my mellow ;)

Walking Wednesdays

2008-08-01T14:08:00.014-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how one can walk the same route time and time again and fail to notice the most amazing colors, textures, and compositions just waiting to be encapsulated in your viewfinder.
On this walk I decided that I no longer want to let myself be intimidated by others, possibilities, the state of American democracy, or even myself. I only want to feel dwarfed by trees doing yoga with limbs contorted and outstretched, an expansive sky, rusty mesas, lush mountains, torrential storms--by the power of mother nature.

It also amazes me how simply electing to walk on the other side of the street can thrust one into an entirely new realm of sensations, impressions, and mindfulness.
I walked past that leaf and stopped dead in my tracks--turned around and gazed at it, noting its solidarity, the rich gold against the monochrome sidewalk, the drops of dew intact.
A few blocks before that beauty, I had stumbled across a pile of severed trunks and limbs stacked thickly on a parkway awaiting removal. I felt moved to take this picture of its heart meat.
A few weeks ago two trees were hacked down on my block and I can't shake the feeling of loss when I go outside. Thinking about how the elm across the street was the same one I ricocheted off just after I had my training wheels removed. Now when I step off my stoop the sun is glaring. I walk down the street and everything is changed. The lighting. Now there are these gaping holes that I cannot forget.
On my walk I remember smelling cinnamon, dryer sheets, and construction. I love the smell of construction--freshly dug up earth mixed with sawdust.

I used to feel dwarfed by "photography" in part because many of my friends are enrolled in photography programs but more due to the fact that I allow myself to be intimidated by new things. It's the perfectionist in me: if I can't start this new thing and do it perfectly from day one or after a month I quit. But now I'm prescribing to the idea that if you love something do it (at least as far as photography is concerned). I've accepted the fact that every frame I shoot is not going to be magnificent. In fact most of them are going to suck. In making a daily practice of it, however, I trust that I will slowly learn to see or rather my lens will learn to see through me.

In thinking back on the countless opportunities for exploration and growth that I've ignored simply because I let myself be intimidated by the idea of other people already knowing what they're doing and what they want, feeling worthless before I even begin, I was angry at myself. Thinking maybe I'd already be that person I'm supposed to be right now. Regardless, I want to do the things that terrify me--that Improv class, vlogging... because if I can do it I know I will be closer.

In that vein, I want to start a Walking Wednesday blog that encourages people to start walking and taking pictures of the things that inspire them to share. While I like the alliteration, the importance of Wednesday is linked to it being the middle day--"hump day," as it were and therefore a time when walking is (imho) necessary. More on this project later as it starts becoming more tangible but I'm really excited about starting something!

This means a new vintage hat may be in order :)

- ♥ -
Larushka

Clare lives in trees and borrows the chalk.

2008-07-28T22:53:00.004-05:00

she told me her name was Clare., originally uploaded by kaliji.

I sat down with the intention to paint an ogre or giant (more about that project later) and became possessed by Clare. The drawing flowed out. Perhaps she is a tree spirit. This morning she showed me where she lives and plays.

Her eyes draw me in--coupled with the pointy ears her gaze seems impish. The full lips. The obstinate neck. One things for sure, she is a warrior.

Gesso, Charcoal, Graphite, & Acrylic.

- ♥ -

Love From Chicago.

2008-07-26T19:01:00.024-05:00

This week we explored Chicago like a new breed of tourist--one without purpose but with a sense of direction. How silly to deprive myself of the best attractions my city has to offer because of my disdain towards those who adhere to the beaten path and its sickening commercialism.
In truth, I have found that it is also those whose goal it is to live "off the beaten path" who are deluded for they naively believe that path less traveled is not comparably commercial and restricting. Na'mean?

First stop: a water taxi to Navy Pier. The driver was fond of our Chucks (furry leopard print and classic black, respectively) and we were fond of his very important dreadlocks.The Museum of Modern Art is free on Tuesdays. This was in the shop--where I agonized for a good hour about which books I couldn't live without. I decided on The 1000 Journals Project, The Guerrilla Art Kit, and This Book Will Change Your Life (in a facetious sort of way).
We had the pleasure of seeing Cindy Sherman's work.MOMO also has free jazz concerts Tuesday nights --a swanky cashbar on the patio and couples picnicking on the lawn below.We fell in love with this place and its amazing gelato. It took a lot of staring and a few taste tests but we opted for Chocolate/Spumoni and Pistachio/White Chocolate.She wanted to show me the sunset over the city.
I pretended to be foreign.
So many beautiful accents and people.We had sat at this beach earlier.The fountain in front of L'Appetito at night.
We both have a thing for falling water--from both natural and human-made structures.
We seek out secret fountains and waterfalls. The only caveat was that we spent an unholy wad of cash on coffee at Starbucks and Ghiradelli and it was mere water dressed in brown. This is my disappointed face.Luckily dashing out of one's car and dancing randomly in subdivision parking lots and at railroad crossings can cure the bad coffee (and most) blues.
...
I've been thinking a lot about decision making this week--and in just looking over this post it is evident that I have serious probs when it comes to making them. When you stare at an ice cream freezer in Jewel for forty minutes before deciding which two flavors to purchase, you need help. If I freak out about the most inconsequential of decisions--how can I decide which college to transfer to? How will I make the right decision about the the things that are important? Simple: stop agonizing about making the right decision in the first place, pooface.

- ♥ -

I can hear you smile 30 miles away.

2008-07-16T06:10:00.010-05:00

smile., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Putzing around with a drawing kit (eep!) that has been gathering dust --a quick sketchy sketch.
I have been flirting with the idea of taking an art class or two before I transfer knowing that once I transfer I will be too discouraged to pursue courses outside my major. My yet to be defined major that is--ideally an amalgamation of three of the following: Communications/Film, Women's Studies, Anthropology, Sociology, English/Comparative Literature, Spanish. With a major in English and a minor in Spanish I can pursue certification to teach English abroad during summers which is the most appealing with the quickest gratification right now....hmmm.
As life tends to plant, however discretely, opportunities to fulfill your desires along the path-- I might be able to take a drawing class for free, compliments my favorite pervy barista. He keeps asking me to model for his drawing class (incentive being that the class would then be free). He asked Agent Pineapple as well and I would think that if it was nude he wouldn't approach it so nonchalantly, although a class where there are models to be drawn in charcoal with clothes on seems to be a rarity. I will have to look into this further. If it checks out, the soul-crushing factor implicit in formal art instruction could be sidestepped and for free!

Today's wisdom courtesy of Yogi Tea: "Your greatness is not what you have, it's what you give."

Agent Pineapple and I are each looking for volunteer opportunities in our area, I have felt a disconnect for the past couple of years that I have been relatively uninvolved save for the occasional march/protest. I spoke with a woman from the YWCA and am considering rape victim advocacy--I just wish I knew if I have the strength before pursuing the intensive training. Another hmmm.

- ♥ -

PS: Question for my blogger users: Do you know how to make uploaded pictures larger without losing quality? I always upload using the "large" setting but it's just not large enough for my liking.

Weekend happy.

2008-07-14T20:37:00.019-05:00

Selling at the flea market is hard work (the 4am -ness alone) but it is certainly an adventure.
Hats are like cats--they find you and we love it when they do!
Agent Pineapple is sporting a bright pink sun hat with contrasting embroidered flowers on the side while I am modeling a metallic paisley pillbox.

not as many vintage bikes as i had hoped. next time i hope to fall in love and bring one home.This majestic couch was left behind by a seller.
Decidedly, we fell in love with it's tackyness (see the barrel sides) and redness.
We wanted to bring it home and restore it.
But we had not the room to haul it.
It's for the best though--the possibility of roach eggs, heroine needles, or blood money taking refuge in the folds of sticky vinyl were too great.So we had a photosession, much to the amusement of the remaining sellers and loitering customers.~~This picture will mark my last day smoking.~~50 cents worth of joy that I can't wait to fill with my dreams and found treasures.

- ♥ -

My muse.

2008-07-08T23:18:00.007-05:00

- ♥ -

Synestheia.

2008-07-08T22:28:00.002-05:00

Giants peel bark with potato peelers.

This is their billboard.
- ♥ -

Holiday weekend.

2008-07-06T17:23:00.024-05:00

We are an old married couple (minus the bickering) and love every minute of it.

An idyllic weekend:

Marinara with green and red bell peppers and mushrooms on linguine.
The red ones are more juicy. The green more crispy. Mushrooms have the best texture when you bite into them.
Red potatoes sauteed in extra virgin olive oil with lemon-pepper, curry powder, and fresh garlic.
Romantic dinner with sunshine plates.
Love cupcakes months in the making.
Dark chocolate with Ghiradelli chocolate chips, cream cheese frosting, and colorful toppings.
Sugar lips.
Rucksack containing bed roll was tossed over-shoulder and we walked in search of higher ground.
To the top of the town we went to watch fireworks from all sides.
Sleep.
Morning kisses.
Breakfast of leftovers. Eggs scrambled with potatoes, mushrooms, and CHEESE.
Long walks, holding hands, cafes cortados, curling up with books and journals.

- ♥ -

dead bolts.

2008-07-06T16:12:00.001-05:00

dead bolts., originally uploaded by kaliji.

the likeness is startling. the figure came to me in a waking dream. it wasn't until i painted the nose red that i knew who it was and the entire page changed.

i love how these representations capture the essence of how i see a person, more than a realistic portrait ever could.

expressing the darkness has become a relaxing, cathartic process. i feel like more of a conduit, letting it pass through me evoking no anger.

now i feel ready for a new challenge.

This is what bipolar disorder looks like.

2008-06-29T21:14:00.002-05:00

this is what bipolar disorder looks like., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Continuing to peer inside the darkness. This time at my sister who suffers from untreated Bipolar Disorder. I hope that she will one day learn how to deal with her anger in less destructive ways--but don't see how I can help her to do that.

Sano orgánico.

2008-06-29T20:40:00.007-05:00

sano organico., originally uploaded by kaliji.

The quote reads "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, wrry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." --Ze Buddha

I feel lucky. I have acknowledged and let go my past, am content with the present, and excited about what the future might bring. I have the opportunity to love, learn, create, and work--what else does one need?

- ♥ -

When was the last time you danced?

2008-06-29T18:51:00.011-05:00

I firmly believe in the health benefits of dancing--I use health as an umbrella term for sanity, creativity, and vitality. Movement is almost always the answer for the blues and overall creative stagnation.
Dancing (in public especially) allows the spirits to lift by jettisoning all of the bullshit that weighs us down on a daily basis. I also recommend cleaning/organizing and getting a hair cut!

This past Friday the fam and I went dancing at one of our favorite joints where the crowd is older and a band we go way back with plays regularly. They play 60's to early 80's everything from "Great Balls Of Fire" to the "Boot Scootin' Boogie" and we love it. But more than their playlist I love how beautiful everyone looks when they're dancing. Older couples, women on their ladies' night out, seasoned ballroom dancers all cutting the same rug yet in their own worlds, as the collective spirit reaches near critical mass in the crowded venue. Wrinkles, cellulite, sags, bellies, boobs, and booties all gyrating to live music. I can't get enough. It's beautiful.

The lead singer dropped off some song request sheets at the table paired with the three page song list (in an 8 point font) at the table. I requested My Girl for Agent Pineapple putting Boobs as the occasion not thinking anything would come of it. I was delightfully wrong. He announced "A song dedicated to Kaitlin's boobs!?" and the whole band got into add-libbing "boobs" into the song. "My girl, my girl, my girl, talkin about my girl's boobs (boobs!)" ...."Talkin about my (boobs!) girl (boobs!). Needless to say we were dying of laughter on the dance floor as was our whole table. Other patrons, however, were not as amused :)

There was more dancing to be had at Chicago's Dyke March--the answer to the male dominated Pride Parade. The slogan this year was We Move. "We Move to create visibility, to honor our histories and identities, to disrupt oppression and dominance, to challenge silence and fear because we are everywhere, because we must survive. 1000 participants--the overwhelming majority of them moving together the largest dyke march in the past five years. Naturally, I positioned myself behind the drummers so that I could dance-march the twelve blocks along Pilsen's 18th street. I'm glad I participated this year, my first, as I've been yearning to be apart of a movement of women. Perhaps I should go for it and volunteer to help organize next year.

The song below is great for ze dancing yah and for ze maarch :)

Camera phones for good not evil.

2008-06-26T11:54:00.014-05:00

As the mobile phone is the prosthetic most of us have resigned ourselves to, why not use it for something positive as opposed to feeling encumbered? While I refuse to have mine in contact with my body unless I'm using it since conducting an energy test I picked up in a Reiki class (*Close Encounters of the Third Kind theme plays*), I am actually starting to like having my phone with me (so long as it is on silent).
The camera is crappy but convenient--I can take a picture in seconds and all the while appearing inconspicuous. So many instances where I encounter something that catches my eye--something that I want to keep--I don't have the time or even the pluck to rifle through the compartments of my backpack in search of my digicam.
If your phone feels more like an implant than an implement, take the camera feature for a spin...and put the sucker on vibe or silent ;)

Take pictures of yourself, flowers and what makes you smile then send a pix message to your sweetie.

Or take pictures of everything that inspires you. Select one to set as your wallpaper or email them to yourself, print and paste in your journal or glue book.

- ♥ -

PS: For you fellow blogger users, check out the nifty new blog roll feature on the right!

Dear Chicago,

2008-06-23T20:13:00.008-05:00

There are so many things I want to see, explore, capture, experience, and learn about within your limits. Your summers are overwhelming with something intriguing taking place each and every day. I'm worried that I'll never feel as if I know you. I live nearby and used to be one of your denizens, yet feel as if you are a stranger to me. This has to change. Especially since I feel as if my feet are going to soon point away from your majestic metropolis and who knows where they'll take me. I cannot leave until I feel truly and inextricably connected with you.
I can't wait to see you this weekend.
All my love,
Lara

PS: Tell that twatwaffle to stop google-stalking me. It's ridiculous.

Armpits.

2008-06-22T22:59:00.009-05:00

Imaginary friend: How do you know you love someone?
Me:Armpits of course.
Imaginary friend: What! Armpits?
Me: You know when you love their armpits be they,hairy, smelly, or stained with sweat.

- ♥ -

Weary of things that don't float.

2008-06-17T22:51:00.007-05:00

I finally found the courage to peer inside the darkness

this is what I found

- ♥ -

Home is where the heart is, really.

2008-06-16T05:55:00.011-05:00

I have been thinking about "home" and what it means to me--especially at a time when I need to commit to my current living situation and make the best of it. It would be easier if wasn't dreaming of the future.
In the page, my dream home with Agent Pineapple is superimposed over my physical one which I fear losing--thus the contrast between sun and storm. The pictures of things I would like to have one day that I encountered during my walks: a cute brightly painted shed (for art or vintage bikes or drumming circles) and two little chairs where we can sit and drink our coffee in the morning with our journals. The other collage element is a scan of the birthday card I made her.
While I am currently at odds with her we always try our best to work things out. It's no secret that everything in life is work. The ways in which the fruits of your labor fulfill you are what matters.

- ♥ -
lara

you are an extraordinary machine.

2008-06-16T05:29:00.009-05:00

The words are lyrics are from the song "Extraordinary Machine" by Fiona Apple--an inspiring tune I walk to. I love her earthy voice and I identify with the lyrics. I've always been the "late bloomer" feeling out my way at my own pace, which allows me to pause in order to observe and, more importantly, see.
Watch and listen. I hope you find something in the song and realize that you are an extraordinary machine :)

Lyrics:
I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
-And-
I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time

I notice that my opponent is always on the go
-And-
Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as
They go fast from whence he came
- But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so
He can't stop staying exactly the same

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

I am the baby of the family, it happens, so
- Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes
While they chaperone
Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease
- Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your
Mind at ease

(Chorus)

-Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?
-It's very kind
But it's to no avail; I don't want the bail
I promise you, everything will be just fine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
- ♥ -

I eat cannibal, it's incredible.

2008-06-12T10:54:00.025-05:00

I was lucky enough to see the rides alone on my way to the train this morning--the carnies asleep in their trailers. I found the shapes, lettering, and colors stimulating--especially the manner in which the carousel horses were decorated (much like trannies!). I can't wait to do work off these. This blue is the color that has been speaking to me--the one I can't seem to escape because it finds its way into most everything I create (yet is oddly absent from my crap collection).

While I am attracted to the bright lights and colors of the carnival, lights are not worth subjecting myself to an overpriced community fest of this variety--my aversion to teenage culture alone renders it a no-fly zone. The main streets choking on swarms of scantily clad young women presenting as virgin-whores, a hetero-normative role that they find increasingly comfortable to inhabit as they "mature". They are quite unaware that their behavior stems from messages hardwired into their atrophied brains by the MSM. And let us not forget the throngs of young men, whose only goal at this life stage is winning a protracted game of putt putt played with their members; a competition among peers to see who can get into the most holes. It's all too depressing--young women raised to believe that feminism is an f-word, a movement that is passe at best. They'll never even know what they're lacking.

-♥-

No A/C

2008-06-12T10:42:00.007-05:00

How do you keep yourself sane in adverse weather conditions friends?
In cars with no A/C I have to keep myself amused or I will get cranky.

For your viewing pleasure:

and
my fingers like to walk in the air
When it's freezing cold in the car I moo at the top of my lungs.
That is all :)

- ♥ -

I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me...

2008-06-02T09:19:00.008-05:00

I love walking--feeling my feet hit the pavement as mind, body and soul align. I work ten miles away from my home and when the weather is nice I take the train three stops and walk the remaining 3.5 miles to work (to save money and exercise!). It takes me from 45 minutes to an hour to walk depending on how late my train is on any given day.
Save the pervs I encounter on my way, I always seem to notice at least one thing that makes me smile to myself. Today, it was a small red rubber band on the ground, which reminded me of when I lived in Hyde Park. During the three years I lived there it seemed as though someone deliberately scattered these red rubber bands along the sidewalks and replenished them when they began to disappear. I would count them on my way to school or the market and was convinced there was something magical about them. Last week I saw four bunnies playing in an open lot, which I found especially exciting because I no longer see bunnies around my house since my outdoor warrior-mama cat took up residence.
Here are the things that made me smile today courtesy of my phone:

Oh contradictions...hehe
So purty, this yard was full of them!
A cute mural down an ally I happened to walk through by the train station

Neon pop culture references :)
- ♥ -

Amor y paz.

2008-06-01T16:24:00.007-05:00

A portrait of Mz. Agent Pineapple in a style I'm trying to develop from a self portrait I did in my moleskine some time ago.
The colors on the face move from the earth tones she wears and feels comfortable in to the bright colors she loves and uses in her art. I had to add her cute little button nose and full lips and her affinity for zebra print :) The peace sign is very much a symbol of how she sees herself--she has a tattoo of one on the back of her neck and strives to be peaceful in her inner and outer environments.
¿Puede encontrar los mensajes escondidos dentro?

On the subject of love & peace, I came across these pictures I took last spring of a peace mural that was erected for a short time in my school's Art Center. If my memory serves me correctly, my hand is one of the rainbow ones :) I loved coming to class everyday and seeing new additions of art, poetry, and messages.

The last two close-ups are entries by my friend Aiste--an amazing photographer and mixed media artist from Lithuania. She likes to smell people, photograph dead things, and be awesome. I love the way she sees the world and wish I could crawl inside her head for a few days to see things through her eyes.
I also wish there were peace murals everywhere.

-♥-

Uncertain Fragments

2008-06-01T14:53:00.008-05:00

vintage zebra fragments, originally uploaded by kaliji.
I recorded my thought process on the opposing page--about how in trying to get back into journaling and blogging I have found myself striving to create for an outside entity--the viewer.

Frustrated that I couldn't pump out a page each day or that I couldn't start, finish, and blog an entry in the same day.
Impatient for acceptance.
Feeling that I shouldn't keep using/creating images of the woman I love in my own journal.

I realized how inane that all is. My journal is for me. Every page need not be "uploadable," "bloggable" or anything else. Not to mention, being so hard on myself at a time when I'm still trying to get back into creating is overkill.

The fragments underneath the painting are remnants of a piece of paper itemizing the things I wanted to talk to my partner about at the beginning of the year when we were going through "rough times." Those issues were resolved because we both had the courage to vocalize, listen, and work hard so I covered the fragments with a photo of her and happy zebra print (which we are bananas for).

-♥-
Thank you Randi for the title!

rusty bike love.

2008-05-27T21:57:00.004-05:00

rusty bike love., originally uploaded by kaliji.

I love this vintage bike. Rusty+Orange+Bad Ass!
Riding it around Oak Lawn with my girlfriend transported me back in time to when my mother was riding her bike in the early sixties in a neighborhood just like this one. She told me when I was younger that she was always at the front of the pack and loved going fast. I love going fast too, especially while standing up on the bike in the middle of the street and gliding for as long as I can. I felt so tall and on top of the world. It never ceases to amaze me how seemingly insignificant things such as riding one's bike can elicit this feeling.

So today's question is: What simple pleasures make you feel on top of the world?

-♥-

Saturation.

2008-05-26T23:40:00.001-05:00

"Dare to Saturate" is an entreaty to live your life in the present as vibrantly as you can.

My dream world is highly saturated and vibrant. I imagine that my spirit is nourished by rainbows and grows brighter with knowledge, experiences, and art.
Rainbows are dangerous in our culture: they are a symbol for marginalized sexualities, lead to fool's gold, adorn girl's toys--and are therefore not appropriate for sensible adults. Individuals that are too colorful are marked as the derogatory eccentric because they choose not to hide behind somber hues and lead quiet, somnolent lives. The colorful have nowhere to hide, have nothing to conceal, and don't apologize for it. I think we could all use a little more color.
There is so much more I want to say about this, but I have work at 8 in the a.m...poo.

-♥-

Results.

2008-05-26T21:55:00.003-05:00

Agent Pineapple and I painted each other's faces.
Then we tried to make them flat.
I decorated.
-♥-

First things first:

2008-05-26T21:34:00.003-05:00

I want to show off my snazzy new journal with ze sexy pattern :)
It's a Paperchase scrapbook that was half off at Border's and therefore considerably cheaper than a Moleskine and will last considerably longer. It has thick square! kraft paper pages and I'm digging the spiral binding--I had so much trouble with the centers of my spreads cracking with my first (and only) moley sketchbook not to mention it just couldn't handle much 3D attitude. I learned to reinforce the centers with masking tape so that paint wouldn't leak to other pages as well as to be conscious of how each page functioned in the signature when I planned spreads and glued pages together. Not to mention I'm not fighting the Moleskine stigma where I'm afraid to mess my own journal up. That's just silly.
The only draw back is that I can't fit a whole page on my scanner bed.
Oh well. I'll just have to get creative.

-♥-

Body painting.

2008-05-23T02:45:00.001-05:00

I declared today a "me" day. I am so grateful for the days spent playing in my art journal, discovering new music, and mashing frijoles while drinking coffee by the pot.

The contrast between my first week of summer and the oppressive (prescribed) priorities that are work and school is overwhelming. I've been having a lot of fun lately. Much of it is due to how backpacking in Utah has changed my outlook on living. It caused me to commit myself to actually doing the things I dream up, taking risks, and trying my best.

I don't want to miss out on potentially life-changing experiences or opportunities, especially because I feel that I'm not up to it in some way.
There is so much to learn and see and do.

Agent Pineapple and I decided to paint each other's faces and tatas the other day in order to make prints in our journals.
Then we ran through the house half naked past my horrified sister in the kitchen and out to the backyard, potentially in the neighbor's (5 houses worth) full view, and took pictures. It was chilly and exhilarating not to mention I relish any opportunity to horrify my sister.

The resulting prints of some of the photos in addition to the face/tata prints have provided me with more than enough journal fodder to get me back into the journal mind set. Between starting a new journal and coming back from a two month + hiatus from creating I had been feeling a little frustrated until now.

-♥-

Summer adventure planning.

2008-05-21T05:54:00.013-05:00

This past weekend was aweshum. On Saturday we went to Navy Pier for the Chicago Green Festival, which was filled with yummy organic food samples with some dancing hippies and cat ears thrown in (my fave). We walked back to Ogilvie in the pouring rain trying to keep each other warm and then stuffed our faces with the contents of a Taco Bell Big Box affirming my poorly practiced belief that just because it's cheap doesn't mean you should do it.
Sunday was Museum Day in my neck of the woods so we made sure to hit the art museum. Took quite a few pictures with our camera phones for inspiration. Then walked over to Caribou and relaxed for a few hours to play with our journals and make lists of all of the things we want to do and experience this summer together.

by agent pineapple
Me making the list below in her journal at Caribou

by agent pineapple
Our supplies and adventure brochures gleaned from The Green Festival and Museum Day

The list
This weekend there will be bike riding, forest preserve, taboo taboo, fireworks, and a BBQ :)
I can't wait to check things off.
We're list people.
-♥-

Shark mouth.

2008-05-20T23:56:00.008-05:00

shark mouth., originally uploaded by kaliji.

She is beginning to stand up to the sharks she encounters who try and belittle her intelligence because she is a woman in order to better their performances as self-actualized yet virile patriarchs.
° ° ° ° ° °

I have become obsessed with idioms as of late. If I was cool like Teresa Rowe, I would keep a book to illustrate with my favorites :)
-♥-

Las cositas que robo.

2008-05-20T23:49:00.003-05:00

las cositas que robo., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Silly detritus collages never fail to get me back into the swing of things.
It is such a challenge to stay focused on school work and keep that balanced with all of the other things I love. Everything always seems to be swirling around in my head maniacally which tends to be an asset when I am playing in my notebooks. I love it when the cognitive projectiles temporarily lose their sense of urgency and something is ultimately created.
-♥-

Backpacking is for Lovers.

2008-05-20T23:24:00.008-05:00

A few weeks later I still cannot put this experience into words--what I saw, how I changed.
I pushed my body and my spirit to their perceived limits and found that I am stronger than
I had ever imagined. My body is stronger and leaner.
I have more confidence in my abilities and in the newfound knowledge that I can.
I have a new appreciation for the outdoors and consequently everything looks greener.
It brought my girlfriend and I closer together--looking forward to seeing each other kept us going.
I want to go ride my bike now--there are many adventures to come.

-♥-

Masqueerade.

2008-03-30T03:29:00.005-05:00

Agent Pineapple and I made masks together and were soaked with plaster water.
My mask was inspired by a figure in one of my journal pages.
I decided that it is a representation of how I see myself.
I miss playing with my art supplies, becoming encrusted with paint and glitter.
-♥-

Thinking.

2008-03-13T01:42:00.002-05:00

-1-

Dreaming.

2008-03-13T01:41:00.001-05:00

-2-

Seeking.

2008-03-13T01:39:00.001-05:00

-3-

art is love.

2008-02-17T18:25:00.009-06:00

It feels like ages since I last posted, but that's good because I was up until five thirty and finished three spreads :) I never cease to be amazed at how a spread can come together over a week or so. I painted the background for this a week ago and was stumped with how to proceed. Could an abstract painting stand on it's own? What more could I possibly do with it? But last night the paper, words, and eyes found me. "You made me feel like the one" are lyrics from the song Dakota by The Stereophics which came on while I was staring at the black spaces. Happy dance!

For Valentine's Day, which was amazing because I have an amazing lady friend :)
I never realized the art-heart connection. My heart was so filled with her that there was no room for art. The burning in my chest was the same.

An exercise in randomness: green style. I was looking through the how to wreck a journal flickr group for inspiration to do a little desecration of my own to the moleskine. There is only room for one more spread, it's no time to get soft :)
Have a great week!
-♥-

Falling....

2008-02-10T03:37:00.001-06:00

Today's Hat:

Chef style

Today's Journal Entry:
Falling for You
Wrapping paper, photos from Spain, aluminum tape, and other good stuff.

It's true, the judges agree.
-♥-

No me...

2008-02-09T03:44:00.000-06:00

I'm so going to get down to business with my school work tomorrow and not get carried away with Greasemonkey, installing flickr scripts, rss feeds and yahoo pipes....my inner nerd ran rampant today :) School should always be put off when the art journal groove gets revved up interdisciplinary style anyway.

Besides, if I had been studying Spanish instead of getting stuck outside a pool hall, I wouldn't have learned that coat hangers are very handy when your friend gets locked out of her car; especially when you can pull off the side view mirror and duct tape it back on.
-♥-