Clare keeps her treasure in her bellybutton.

clare's bellybutton., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Today was the day for a new banner. I love it. Change feels good. My old banner was too non-specific and boring.

I missed Clare, the tree spirit that briefly possessed me a few months ago. In so doing, the became part of an unfinished narrative concerning malevolent ogres and and giants that peel trees with potato peelers and create discreet color block graffitti on forgotten walls. One of my "ART-solutions" this year is to overcome my fear of creating outside of the safe confines of a book. This is my first independent piece (I did it!). I hope to create a series about Clare as her story unfolds in my dreams.

This all started because of Kimya Dawson whose music saturates the soundtrack of Juno. Her songs make my day when listened to in the morning and get me into create mode. Her song "I Like Giants" definitely infiltrated my consciousness and led me down a path toward Clare (Agent P. helped too).

My favorite lines are: "I like giants. Especially girl giants. Because all girls feel too big sometimes regardless of their size." I relate especially to that last sentence. That state of being so filled with inspiration and trajections of thought. As well as the state of being filled with joy or sadness. Having the freedom to experience thought and emotion to this extent is one of the many gifts facilitated by being a woman. It is an state of experience that many of our foremothers were not free to actualize for the consequences of being labeled a hysteric were severe. I would like to think that being a woman who allows herself to feel to such an extent is no longer negative. However the treatment by the media of the talented women in the political who filled boob tubes across the nation last year has caused me to think that we have not come as far as we would like to believe. It has certainly caused me to read my news online from sources without a recent history of misogyny, but I digress. If I were to truly translate my sentiments about the present state of "feminism" in this country into written form, it would be extensive and no doubt fueled by vitriol.

Instead, I will leave you with this clip of the official music video for "I Like Giants." The song is set to a really cute interpretative dance created and performed by her friends who are also members of the free choir she established in Olympia, Washington that anyone can attend. If I ever visit Olympia that will be on my short list of places to go for sure :) What music inspires you as you create?

xo Lara

One of those days.

what's next?, originally uploaded by kaliji.

There is so much going on in this spread.

Where will I go next? And when?

When will our life together truly begin?

Can I cut it at a small liberal arts college when I still haven't been able to use my voice outside of the realm of art?

Will I be able to hold on to my art? 

When I really take the time to think on it, I find myself more afraid than excited at all the possibilities before me. There are simply too many. Too many things I want to do. Too many things I could do. How do I start making choices that are not based on fear? Just do it i guess. A succinct slogan for a towering thought process capable of dwarfing what should be an exhilarating time. 

And just do more art! Art journals are so amazing. 

Those onion skins.

layers and negative space are so beautiful in nature.

Creatures.

Creatures., originally uploaded by kaliji.

Doodling can be terrifying for perfectionists. The best, meaningful, doodles arise out of the nothingness where the act of their creation lacks intention and awareness. The fish and horned figure were doodles such as this that kept tugging at me to be cultivated and used. The bear in the last post was born of an image transfer gone horribly wrong. My sharpie followed the remnants of the paper that was supposed to transfer the image and a bear emerged. Consequently its leg was created with intention through the recreation of that mistake. I like to believe these creatures show themselves for a reason.

If doodling scares you too try this:

❶ Close your eyes and with a thick marker allow yourself to make a continuous mark on the page. Stare at the result. Turn it around. Do you see anything? Then make what appears in your mind's eye more apparent. Trace it. Work with it. Let it grow. Or leave it as is and smile.

❷ Or take a piece of paper and coat it with a thin layer of acrylic medium or plain old glue. Place it on a page in your journal and burnish with a spoon or the implement closest to you. Tear the paper away before the glue dries and doodle around what remains. 

About that onion skin, M.M. was corrupted by my foray into potato worship. As a result, she preserved the skins from onions which went on to flavor bean soup and gave them to me in the beautiful red netting they came in figuring that I would enjoy "doing something" with them. She was right :) After taking pictures of those papery wrappings I had to glue one into molie. I can't wait to start a vegetable garden and dig my hands into the earth. To use the inedible remnants.

xo Lara

New Molie!

Bear fetish. originally uploaded by kaliji

Glitter oil salesman. originally uploaded by kaliji

The excitement of having a brand spankin new moleskine has yet to wear off :) I haven't had one since February when I moved on to a larger journal with spiral binding. I just could not stay away. I'm excited to have a new, clean slate for January. A space where ideas can evolve and flower into works independent of a binding: a goal for 2009.  A place to doodle and plant the seeds of inspiration. 

I have never been one to take too much stock in "New Years." After all, each day begins a new year.  Since the fortune-telling ritual, however, I am digging the Gregorian calendar. A tangible shift is occuring within me. For the past few days I have been feeling strangely content and serene--even joyful at the oddest of times. Listening to Kimya Daweson on my way to work this morning filled me to the point that I felt as if I were about to cry. A wave of what can only be described of as sentimentality took hold of me as I was handling the the influx of periodicals to the library I work at yesterday. I even enjoyed doing tedious tasks like copying and collating due to the sense of peace these tasks invoked within. My eyes are opening. I am consistently mystified by my day-to-day surroundings. I feel as if I can call myself an artist--a label which previously did not remain adhered for more than a few minutes. It is bonded to membrane of my soul now as if by epoxy instead of electrical tape. 

On Sunday the family fled to our favorite pizza joint for a few hours to be "out in the world." Mama Marshamallow's friend, who is a surrogate grandfather of sorts, was playing the claw game. First he captured a stuffed kitten which he gave to M.M. He surprised me with a monkey, his next and final prize. A monkey! My "sea monkey" manifested again! The mascot of new beginnings has since taken up a position of honor next to my Frida Kahlo display.

The roots of this shift are only partly steeped in the mysticism wrapped up in the new year. Mostly it is you. Your words. Your art. Your spirit. Thank you for all your inspiration.

xo Lara

2009

2009, originally uploaded by kaliji.

This first page for the new year conceals an affirmation for 2009 and glittery punquita faeries saying "live fearlessly!" Agent and I went to Dick Blick the other day for the first time and what a magical place it is. I bought a slew of random implements to play with including some chunky sharpie markers to graffiti up '09.
Blick sells these cheap and nifty squirt bottles that are perfect for making your own fluid acyrlics. Mix one part water to one part acrylic and let the dripping begin. Way cheaper than buying an assortment of fluid acrylics to achieve the same effect. The chunky sharpies drip as well if you press the tip down firmly for a few seconds. I love the excitement that is evoked as paint careens down the page, wondering where it will go and if it will spread to other pages. The subsequent few pages left in my journal are now all tinged with red in one way or another. The impermanence and chance involved in working in a spiral journal especially is thrilling!
Live fearlessly!
xo Lara

New Year Abstractions.

Happy (Belated) New Year from the Doodiekins Family

Agent P. and I, not being your average 20 year olds, celebrated the New Year with my mother, Mama Marshamallow in our usual swanky manner with a Latvian tradition passed on to us by our dear friend Ellada and a little bubbly of course.

When the clock stuck twelve we screamed like banshees accompanied by antique noisemakers, throwing ribbons, and dancing up and down. After a toast and picture taking we proceeded to our favorite part of the evening: the Latvian fortune-telling ritual.

Colorful candles are lit and allowed to burn until each has a pool of wax, we decided to use red as that was the color Ellada chose when she shared this practice with us. The molten wax is then poured into a bowl of cool water for as long as you feel necessary. Allow the piece to cool before removing it from the water and set aside. 

As with many divination rituals, one is supposed to create just one wax abstraction from which to extract their fortune. When you are ready listen to and examine your creation in order to divine what the new year shall bestow upon you. Then pass around to others to hear their interpretations. 

At first mine looked like a smiling monkey, not sure what that means, but the tail broke off. Despite my best efforts at soldering it back on it just would not stay put which I take as a sign that it is supposed to remain this way. Now it just looks like a smiling face. Perhaps 2009 will bring me much happiness and joy :) I hope so. In 2009 I want to take more chances, do things as opposed to simply thinking of or planning on doing them, explore my environment, stop making life decisions based on fear, create more art, and love with every fiber of my being. 

Here are all of our little abstractions together. Mama Marshamallow decided to make many instead of one so that she could read each abstraction as representative of a different area in her life. Agent Pineapples is the big one in the upper left. She thought it looked barfy when it was oriented horizontally, where as I saw a bush of berries. In this photograph it looks like a beautiful cameo. We have yet to fully analyze our creations but I just wanted to share my favorite part of New Years. 

Best wishes for the New Year!

xo Lara